Sunday, May 6, 2012

Everything i say or do is a calculated gesture, there is a conscious decision for everything i do. That calculation is predicated on the possible reactions of those involved. Recently, people i know personally have been reading this, the problem with that is that eventually i will have to interact with you, and those interactions will be biased because of your reading this blog. That is why posts here are so hard to come by, i sit down and write four or five drafts before posting anything, i put less work into college essays. This is all because by your reading of this i will not be able to predict your reactions due to the fact that i am not around you when you are reading this. Thus if i know you i ask one simple thing of you, please do not react or think differently of me because of these (even if i know that is am impossibility)
I have come to the conclusion that i do the best thinking in three locations, my front porch, the shower, and when driving. Thus when you have one of those days where it is just after sunset, the radio is blasting, the window is down, it is neither to warm or to cold, you are driving familiar roads, and the world feels as near to perfect as i have seen it, i can get a lot of thinking done.  One thought is the above, just how great the world is at that moment, another is for the one aspect that is missing.
We are creatures of contradiction, we (or as a matter of semantics i should say I) revel in both silence and sound, or music. We love winners, but we also love the underdog, some thing that only exists because of having lost. Perhaps most distinctly, we love the serenity that comes from being alone yet also seek to be in the company of others. These are all actions that require us to want multiple things at the same time, for these impulses are inherently contradictory in their nature. This teaches us (or again semantically me) something important about the human condition, that our wants cannot be allowed to define our action, for our wants are all- encompassing. Because we want inherently contradictory things, there must be something that determines which of these"wants" will win in the battle to determine our actions. Of this principle that is the determining factor i have little knowledge and experience with, so i will leave alone. However the point i wish to make is two fold, 1. we are creatures of contradiction and thus are capable of wanting multiple things, 2. that something determines how we act that is independent of our wants.
Finally happiness is not predicated on the fulfillment of our wants because of principle 1. above, for if our wants are inherently contradictory than by accomplishing one we will have failed at another. Thus fulfillment of wants cannot be the prerequisite for happiness or the lack of that fulfillment the prerequisite for sadness, else we would never be happy or sad or happiness and sadness would coexist, which i posit they cannot. Therefore when seeking happiness one must look external to your wants at any particular time.
Don't you just hate people that make points after they say the word finally, i mean it defeats the purpose of saying finally if you continue after it. So, happiness being external to wants, is the point i was trying to make throughout this post, and i will end my discussion of it here. (For Now, insert diabolical laugh here) . Oh and the missing aspect of my drive was something that was one of the contradictions above

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